Terrible Twos

We are well and truly into our terrible twos. Some days are better than others of course, and some terrible moments more bearable than others. For most of our days, JW has been a lovely little boy, entertaining us with his new words and little antics.

This morning we had a little dance session to Don Johnson, with JW swaying to the beat of Don Johnson. After the songs, he would clap loudly, spotting a big grin on his little round face. Right now, at nap time, we have a screaming toddler who did not finish his fried rice, made his mummy cut pear, only to have a few bites and refuse it. He then proceeded to ask for his fried rice again, only to discover that it is all gone!

So is the terrible twos anyway? Is this really a period of bad behaviour, tantrums, naughtiness? Or is it another growth period where little one just exerts his independence, but fails to communicate what he wants 80 percent of the time? At times, it seems just as confusing for the parents as it is for the child...

A Mother's Well Being

They say the maternal instinct kicks in as one becomes a mother. The urge to care for young infant or child is so strong that very few can deny such an instinct. It is an emotion so strong that "self sacrifice" is often mentioned to described this infinite love of a mother for her child.

Right ... self sacrifice.

Lying in the shadows of the mother's 'sacrifices for her child' is a mother's well being. Or does this even exist anymore after tending 24/7 to your child? The Mother's Book of Well Being, by Lisa Groen Brauner, stresses the importance of caring for one's self to be able to care for one's child (albeit an infant - it does apply to all mothers and not those of infants only).

This is the central theme of this book, and though this message begins to sound repetitive after awhile, it does hold a truth so commonly denied by many mothers out there: that their own happiness is just as important thing for their children as food and love.

To share an excerpt from The Mother's Book of Well Being (page 55):

"Our children are directly affected by us, and indirectly affected about how well we care for ourselves. When we are healthy, our interactions with them are healthy. When we are troubled - with relationships, work, or otherwise - we are not the only ones who endure it. Becoming a mother causes us to think beyond ourselves, but we cannot forget ourselves in the process. It is not in the best interest of our children to deny our own needs. The act of self nurturing is not selfish; it is essential to us and to the health of our families."

Hence, in our child centric'/ 'put-the-needs-of-the-ones-you-love-first' society, it is important to remember one's own needs. As a mother, remember the importance of your own needs and do not deny them - and it will indeed do wonders for your family.

Mother's Day and Mrs Kong's mother's day present

JW at Mother's Day lunch. They ran out of spoons for kids..

A hectic day for restaurants and shops selling all Mother's Day it was. JW, Mr Kong, Mrs Kong and po po braved the crowds for a mother's day brunch at Oriental in Jaya 33. The restaurant floor was extended out towards the escalators and still there was a queue for tables after we arrived. Although we were lucky enough to get a table without much fuss, we soon encountered another problem - the shortage of dim sum - kid you not.

Nevertheless, it has been a great Mother's Day weekend, Mrs Kong would like to report; catching up on lost sleep, time for R&R and just breathing space - all for Mrs Kong that is. Mr Kong voluntereed his services as nanny, maid and driver! (pretty sure Mr Kong is now ready for Father's Day)

As for Mrs Kong's mother's day pressie for the day it has to be the little wave goodbye from JW as he hopped and skipped out of the house at 8am with his father to check out the digger at the end of our street. No fuss, just a quick turn around and wave ... "bye bye mummy". He hesitates and looks back as he hears the words "Bye bye JW, I love you", as if to say 'I will miss you' but quickly turns back to his father as the digger awaits!

Our little boy is growing up - happy, healthy and strong. Best mother's day present ever.

Happy mother's day, mummies out there!

Last week of Freedom?

Its been 4 months of joy and happiness - being "help" less. Our last helper left in December 2009 and Mrs Kong has been spending her days alone with JW. It has seemed longer than 4 months, but it has been good overall.

Over the last 4 months, we have seen a very unsteady JW (on his feet) to a little toddler who rarely sits still. He has learned a whole lot more independence and self reliance. He has also learned how to load and start the washing machine, though his effectiveness still needs working on. He seems to be developing in the direction we want him to be. He has learned that there are times when he will have to entertain himself (though he does not necessarily do so all the time). As a family, we are more spontaneous and candid. We have had so many more laughs, just the three of us.

All that aside, it is time now to consider additional domestic help. Mrs Kong cannot help but wonder how this will affect our family and JW's development. How will things change? Or do we already know. ...

The month of December

Much of life comes to a some sort of standstill in December. Its the school holidays and Mr + Mrs Kong are just becoming newly acquainted with. Its a life outside of mainstream commercialism, and a life one would know only too well if one were a student, parent of a student, or teacher.

Of course, JW is not of school going age yet, but the simple venture of finding a play group for JW is something clearly new to us.

Sure it is a month for family, Christmas celebrations, meeting with friends and holidays. Mrs Kong never imagined that even play groups took a break! Oh well, we will just have to wait until next year!

Feeding at 12 months

JW has mostly been an enthusiastic eater. He has been willing to try new tastes, and up till a month ago, had his favourites when it comes to food. But just after his first birthday, we did notice a change in his behaviour: with increased fussiness, unwillingness to sleep, and distraction when it came to meal times.

Now, a month on, JW has taken to refusing his solids, sometimes going without a meal (or 2) and just drinking milk. At first, (and still to some extent) this raised alarm bells in Mrs Kong's mind. After all, isn't a well fed child demonstrative of good parenting? And what about all the time and resources to put the food on the table? It is certainly a waste of money and good food. Shouldn't we just feed it to JW anyway, after all, he is only a baby and we are acting in his best interest?

Yes, it is all too tempting to force feed JW at times like this: a thought that has crossed Mrs Kong's mind. However, after consulting several well recommended books on baby care and child rearing, this quite clearly isn't a simple solution for the reasons below:

It is believed that force feeding can lead to unhealthy eating habits as it teaches the child to ignore his own bodily signals - and to continue eating when he is indeed full. Further more, the right to decide whether he is full has been named as a component of a child's physical integrity, not too dissimilar from the right to be free of physical abuse. This is alleged to have far reaching implications to a child's emotional and psychological well being.

Hence we are now faced with the question: do we (a) force feed JW and ensure that he gets 3 square meals a day (assuming we are able to do this?); or (b) do we let JW decide for himself if he is indeed hungry and wants to eat, but waste all that food AND let him skip meals?

The latter choice is still too troubling for Mummy, but it might be the better course of action just to let him be.

[As long as he does not lose weight. ... !]

This is how much JW had for lunch yesterday... just the bit on the bottom left ..

Thankfully, JW had some broccoli and orange. The remainder fell into his "little pouch"

Of course, there could be other, more sinister reasons for JW's refusal of some of his meals. It could mean allergies for one, but we are not certain of this yet. Reading up on allergies at the moment, and hopefully we won't find anything serious.

Meanwhile, Mr Kong and Mrs Kong have now taken on DBKL like roles. We get rid of the wastage from JW's meals - Mr Kong being in charge of liquid disposals (milk in particular) while Mrs Kong is responsible for the solid disposals (all other foods not containing milk)! Lets see who puts on more weight from these new parenting duties!

And that's the end of babyhood for us...

We turn one today; though JW probably does not have slightest clue of how momentous this event is.

It has been a truly amazing year, starting from the moment of Mrs Kong's headache at about 8pm on the 26th of July 2008. From then on, it has been a roller coaster ride; with laughter, tears, stresses and immense pleasure.

It isn't possible for one to remember one's own birth moment. But it also isn't possible for a parent to forget the moment he/she became a parent.

Happy Birthday JW!!